ehhhhhhhhhhh

I sometimes ponder lesser things, like if apathy really is the key.
Keys keep things bound that should stay locked, closed caskets
remain on top.
The world is a dream, disengaged from naivety to reality.
I can't see what's in front of me.

I wonder what you see in them, if love is a game, little terms of engagement.
Is it a war to be won, a trophy to display? Or do you just not want to be alone?
I hold onto what contains at least a little humanity, I can't participate in games.
Retrospect might show pride comes before the fall, ego then assumes the initial role
maybe that is the deal, a microscopic man among infinite beings.
A fatal flaw of a degenerate man.

I hear claims of hearts given to unequated lovers, shameful looks and pregnant belly's.
I see hands held and funerals planned.
Are you learning much walking together in the barren land?
Is it all a lesson to be learned, a playbook assembled by a tally at the end?
Mark it up as another win to a year that came and went
I'll continue to be honest and stay confused until the pieces fit.

Satisfaction

"Be Satisfied with Me" by St. Anthony of Padua:

"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But to a Christian, God says,
"No, not until you are satisfied,
Fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me.
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone.
Discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship,
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another
Until you are united with me.
Exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow me to give you
The most thrilling plan existing . . . one you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best.
Please allow me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that's all. Don't be anxious, don't worry
Don't look around at things others have gotten
Or that I have given them
Don't look around at the things you think you want,
Just keep looking off and away up to me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than you could dream of.
You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,
I am working even at this moment
To have both of you ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your
Relationship with Me,
And to enjoy materially and concretely
The everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love
That I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love utterly.
I Am God. Believe it and be satisfied."