I wanna wear my heart on my sleeve

It has been a while since I lasted typed my thoughts for the public eye. Since my last vernacular suicide, I started college and finished a semester. It was really nothing special. Truthfully it has been a difficult few months with the exception of Christmas break.

People change when they experience the blissful yet terrifying first months of college. It is an entirely different atmosphere and people lose themselves in their new surroundings. People in general have always been a disappointment to me, always falling when I thought they were stronger. The only difference between me and those people, I swear I see myself falling and try to equate for it by preparing myself for it. Blame it on prophecy. Others just throw things in front of them to break the fall. Like hearts and other breakable essential things that can potentially damage the way friendships are viewed. I am just not a terribly big fan of pettiness. I actually hate it, and when something petty messes something up for me it makes me quite angry and leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. Forever.

I am beginning to think my spiritual gift of prophecy is a curse not a gift. I hate how clear I see things and how I can't seem to make people see the clarity. But it is actually my lack of love. I need to be more loving. It is hard to love people who screw you over though.

I think I am going to ask a girl out. I see her around and the small conversations that I have had with her left the unequivocal feeling that I should try to whisk her off her feet.

This has been very random sorry.

This song is me 100%

Awful Direction by The Almost

Life has given me the, me the creeps
I need you to make, to make, to make me weak
I have made my world my own, I've made it my own
And I have never been so alone

I can't stop my brain from moving
in an awful direction Lord
I can't stop my hands from doing
what I don't want to do anymore
I've been wrong
I've been right
but tonight
I just wanna be yours

I'm planning this out
to be all about me
I, I am wrong can you help me?

I can't stop this brain from moving
in an awful direction Lord
I can't stop these hands from doing
what I don't want to do anymore
I've been wrong
I've been right
but tonight
I just wanna be yours

I've got to let go of all of this
'cause I'm dragging me down, down

I can't stop my brain from moving
in an awful direction Lord
I can't stop my hands from doing
what I don't want to do anymore
I've been wrong
I've been right
but tonight
I just wanna be yours
I just wanna be yours
I just wanna be yours